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Whenever your girlfriend asks if she is fat, your obvious trained response is ‘NO!’ 

But then that is not always true. Sometimes, your girlfriend *actually* does look fat because she has put on weight and you find yourself caught between the devil and dark blue sea. 

If you tell her she is getting fat, she will get sad and will be so for the rest of the day. If you tell her she has not gained fat, she will be mad at you for lying. 

So how to tell her she is getting fat?

In fact, there is no right way to tell her. No matter how delicately you approach this subject, it's still going to hit a nerve, so prepare yourself for the storm. 

Before we get to that, a few words of caution…this is an incredibly sensitive, yet important topic.

Sensitive because most women, whether they are truly overweight or not, feel terribly self-conscious about their weight. 

Important because gaining weight at a rapid pace can lead to several serious disorders such as Type 2 diabetes, heart disease and high blood pressure.  

A woman is most empowered, sexy and beautiful when she is at her healthiest. And as her man, if you can encourage her on a path towards health, it will be a great gift you can give her as her partner.

Being healthy includes emotional and mental health. This is why it is so important that you stay strong, open, and compassionate with her. You are calling her to a higher level of health in all areas, not just in her physical body. 

Focus on health… Not on aesthetics.

Sure, significant weight gain carries with it a drop in sex appeal, but if you legitimately care about her, that should be secondary. I suggest you have an open, honest conversation with her about this. Hinting or making subtle suggestions will either go unnoticed, or she will probably get the wrong idea. She should NOT assume that you don’t find her attractive anymore.

Make it a "we" problem

Approach the subject from a "We need to work out more", "We need to eat better" stance. Sure, it is transparent, but an accusatory "you" will do absolutely nothing for your cause except make you look like a superficial dick. Gently tell her that you are concerned our lifestyles have taken a dangerous turn and it's time to make changes. Again, use the words "we" and "our" liberally.

Understand that you will have to work too.

If you want your lady to work hard and eat healthy, you have to be prepared to do the same. You can't force-feed her salad and watch her run on the treadmill while you sit on the couch and eat a cheese burger. Go for walking, running, cycling and swimming together, cook healthy meals at home and opt for healthier options when you go out to eat. 

Start working out together.

Working out together is a brand new level of intimacy that will come with all the benefits: better bodies, better minds and a better relationship. Working out as a couple is one of the best ways to get your partner’s heart racing. The time you spend at the gym suddenly becomes "us" time. You don't have to choose fitness over the time you spend with your partner. 

Think of it this way — you are spending quality time together and you are toning your body as well. Isn’t it a great idea to spend quality time together for some constructive work?

Hold on tiger! I've got something to tell you.

There is an app that I want to recommend to you. StayWow is a social networking app for fitness enthusiasts just like you! It's a free app.
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Whether you're completely new to fitness or a seasoned pro, this app will help you reach the next level. Give it a try.

Written by Sapna Vyas Patel , PhD in Nutrition Science and Dietetics
Sapna writes simple, easy to understand articles that are based on pure scientific evidence. She is one of the most popular fitness professionals in India and is followed on social media by fitness enthusiasts, nutritionists, dieticians, doctors, trainers, and professionals.

Inspire, educate and empower the StayWow community. Become a StayWow Contributor!

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